Author: Amy Audelo

try

| Amy Audelo

I have chosen worry

Over blessing

and its messing

with my joy

I traded fighting

for hiding

to gain the time

to gain the dime

the solution is mine

and all the while

I lost my smile

I lost my health

for the worlds wealth

it has no value

 

in the secret place

where I am defined

by mercy and by grace

so I stopped that climb

and I fell to the floor

hoping to God

for worries no more

but worry was there

with its foot on my back

waiting for trials

and every attack

so whats the solution

for worry and fear

The Word of God

makes it very clear.

He gives a spirit

of peace and sound mind

fear and worry

must be left behind.

I stand to my feet

the truth is proclaimed

no one can take

the freedom I’ve gained.

 

fire

| Amy Audelo

 

 

Once upon a time

I saw this ordinary thing

and I called it

ordinary.

But He has told me

to take off my sandals

barefoot

ordinary

life.

 

 

 

No Song for this one, sometimes its just right to be silent.

known

| Amy Audelo

I am known by you.

God.

Not all that is good smells

of roses and wine

not all romance

is parked perfectly at sunsets

love is fought on a battlefield

and it is called blood shed on cross

it is the endurance of long suffering

when you thought that you would

never survive,

that you would never make it

love stood

through it all

Love has wiped each tear

whispers new dreams

cleaned the floor of my vomit and blood

it has picked me up out

of every pit

I have walked into.

“Come meet my Father”

“Tell Him your name”

God of the universe know my name.

 

Song: “Washed by the Water” Live version (NEEDTOBREATH)

sink

| Amy Audelo

waves crash over me

the salt water rushes

up my noes

makes me panic

I cant find up

I will be lost

swept away

by the wave and

swallowed into the deep.

ok… lets go.

The ocean is the deep

we must fight through

the crashing waves to move

closer to the deeps

closer to the mystery.

 

Song: Paralyzed (NF)

again

| Amy Audelo

Will you not be free?

My face is peeled off

the sting of exposed flesh

wrings pain through

my life

the whispers of insecurity plague every moment

he has called me

work horse, provider, authority, in charge

and I have accepted responsibility.

The weight of it all  hits my worn and tired body

like a cheap shot it stuns.

defeated, I attempt a step forward

but there is nothing left.

I turn to the ones I love

I scream for help

but help never comes because I have taken the controls.

trembling I fall, I fail.

Will you not be free?

 

 

Song: Have Your Way (Britt Nicole)

pour

| Amy Audelo

This morning when I woke up the Holy spirit prompted me to read Matthew 26. As I got ready I asked my husband to read it to me. The story of the woman who poured out the oil on the feet of Jesus has stuck to me all day long.

I am trying a new habit of praying in the morning, at noon and at 6 pm. For many reasons, but primarily because I am stressed out. I have changed my schedule majorly and it has left me having to say no to so many things I would love to say yes to. There literally is not enough time in the day and I am often left feeling guilty that I don’t have the energy and dedication required to spend time with friends, and time to go for hour long walks… sometimes its an extra effort to get a shower in.

Today, at my 6 pm prayer time, I felt the resistance to let the moment pass by. I’m sitting at work, I’ve been here since 7:30 am and I don’t feel like doing anything. But, then instead, I decide to pray.

Most of my “tired prayers” start generically with a “Thank You for this day…” and this one did.But it lead to more honest phrases like; “I’m tired” and “This has been a long day”.

At the moment I found myself surrendered, truly surrendered, I saw her. The woman pouring out the oil onto the feet of Jesus. I saw the people around her chastising her for her “poor management of resources”.

“What a waste! She should really use that for something more meaningful, like helping the poor!”

Jesus says to them (Paraphrasing here guys) “Look, the problems in this life aren’t going away, but I am, Your time with me is limited and this lady gets it. I’m gonna make sure that whenever they talk about me, they talk about her too.”

Talk about Glory.

You aren’t wasting your time when you stop and pour out your worship… Sure the problems, appointments, relationships and duties around you are important. Just like taking care of the poor, we need to do it. But when the time comes and we are standing before Jesus,  don’t hold back, pour every part of yourself out. His Glory is what follows.

life

| Amy Audelo

The enemy would have me believe that today it is up to me to make all this “life” happen but God’s word tells me the opposite. Today we pray truth over the lies that the enemy would have us believe. God creates life and He has every aspect covered.

Song: Miracle (Jesus Culture)

Father God

We come before you right now and we thank you that you have given us this day. It is a gift and we are blessed by every element of it. God you are sovereign we know that you don’t make errors or mistakes and that everything that we experience in our life has seen your eyes. I thank you Lord that regardless of the current circumstances we can rest in know that you have the provision. whatever mountain we are facing Lord you have more than enough resource to meet every need. I thank you Lord that we walk in that assurance. We speak against the lies of the enemy, God you are enough, you are good you are in control,and as the lion roams around to consume us, you are our defender. God, we do not fear our own inadequacies, we do not fear the judgement of man, because our fear of you is so much greater. Lord, you are greater then all things, and you are on our side. God I love you, I love that you are mighty and that I can lean back into you. I love that I can fall and you are there to scoop me up. Father I love that I am your daughter. Continue to direct my eyes and heart to your truth. Thank You Lord, thank You for salvation and for the relationship it has restored. Bless this day God. In Jesus mighty name, Amen.

well done

| Amy Audelo

There is a moment at the end

When I am walking

When I am all by myself

and when my eyes

are fixed on something beautiful.

 

I take a deep breath

and exhale.

Pressures off.

I’m finished.

 

Song: I love you Lord (Live) (Phil Wickham)

 

gross

| Amy Audelo

This day didn’t start how I like them to.

My heart was turned the wrong way.

So, for most of the morning I couldn’t really see you.

My guilt blocked you from my sight

 

Now I am sitting here

with this pain in my stomach

slouched and sad

missing the joy that overflows

What do I tell myself? How do I shake the continual downcast part that steals the desire to try.

All I can do is say out loud: God I am here. Find me as I am all I want is to be yours. This moment is not greater than you. And as your Holy Spirit overcomes You have taken me as I am and you will continue to love every part of me. You use all things Lord; the good, the bad and the tremendously ugly. I love you. I pour out all that I am, I expose my whole heart to you. This is what is truth. I am loved by you more then I will ever fathom.

No more crying, no more pain. In that place will I know your love for me?

But even through pain and tears I will believe in your love for me.

I’m focused on the words I write not on your face and I need to make another sentence happen while your telling me to just quiet my mind. Stop.