I abandoned my life.
The closest thing to suicide
Without stopping my heart.
Abandoned life.
I gave up this girl.
I told her, that feeling all these things
Was just too much work.
That all this leads to nothing
And I don’t want to work
For nothing.
But will you speak for me?
Will you claim me?
Can you please help my life mean something.
Month: April 2016
flying
Is there any release in knowing that I don’t need to build myself up? I don’t need to be famous, well known, or even well liked.
Not to be hated or below reproach. But, just to worry less about pleasing.
Is there a walk on the schedule today?
My chest aches.
My tummy rumbles.
No one cares about your story. Maybe not.
No one will know your name.
But they will remember His.
And I will abide in Him.
Like hot water, releasing the fragrance of tea,
As time passes He becomes more potent in this abandoned life.
catalyst
failure,
deepen my surrender
these are your words
your hands
your eyes
your voice
the desert is a dry place
water is not the solution
surrender is.
Something is to be learned
from the trial.
Not the relief
not the removal of the pain.
My Grace is enough
when its hard
it is enough
My Grace is enough
when it hurts
it is enough
My Grace is enough
when all I can do
is say
Your Grace is enough.
and blessed is he who is not offended by me.
song: hymn (Brooke Fraiser)
shine
Glory, Gospel, Grace
fall on this place.
Failure cannot exist
when I have come from Victory,
You are a city on a hill, seen
you stand
through attacks and fire
when the storms come
and the city stands.
His glory will shine
His Gospel is shared
and His Grace redeems.
Say it out loud.
Shout
I am a city on a Hill
my light is bright bright bright
and the worlds darkness
cannot consume me
I serve the almighty
It is not my light
but His that shines
It is not stolen
It is not shaken
it is not smoldered
defeat comes to the darkness
and fear must leave.
Shine.
Song: Shine on us (Bethel Music)
frames
All the frames are on the floor…
An orange.
It’s sweet, full of nutrients
Full of sugar.
Too many oranges can cause kidney stones
Kidneys clean.
He says
Oranges are the fruit of self control
Self control
Is full of nutrients,
Remember when we used to run,
And we learned that you can push yourself
Faster and further
With self control
Too much control makes things
Messy.
Strange.
But, Try it.
Give yourself.
Total Control.
And that’s too many oranges
And all of the sudden
The house is messy
Life’s a mess
And so am I.
Your working it out.
And I know that.
I don’t understand all this.
But there is so much to hold onto
That I would fight mindlessness, full of intention, freedom and love.
Free for freedom
Loved and loving
Seeking and sought
Forgive over and over and over
Great God
Bring me into your light.
Wash me in your warmth
Renew each thought
Bring it into captivity
To stand against your truth
Don’t think
Don’t try
Be sustained
Be surrendered.
Engage with Him.
Stay. Here. Now.
What frames?
journey
“Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.”
Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.” Isaiah 6:5-7
reveal to me your love God
im not even sure what im asking for
the thought of your glory
the thought of knowing your love
overwhelms me.
youve known my heart since the beginning
but im a child
unknowing and delighted in simple things
but when you reveal your love
identity is found
the cost is made clear; Jesus.
from where we came
we will never return
to the garden
but a kingdom awaits
no innocence is lost on the journey
the price has already been paid
fight my feet to stand
hands lifted high
glory fall
you are my everything
you are all that we need
unite our hearts.
defender
I have been bludgeoned
black and blue
oppressed
and called less
I surrendered my authority
to sin and to the world
and I became a punching bag
at some point I took a stand
I said
never again
will I be a victim
to this life
or anyone living it
and I have been so busy
defending myself
flinching at any movement
keep your hands up!
watch out for the sucker punch!
It’s coming, its just a matter of time!
People suck.
self.
you fight SO HARD to survive
But God you are my defender
you are justice
you are strength.
No one can compare
no one can overcome you
no one can beat you
not even me.
I am not the hero. You are.
It isn’t Victory without you.
We do not submit to the flesh because it has no authority, it is an empty tank of gas, it will take us no where.
Song: Lion and lamb (Bethel Music)
The Girl in Yellow 