This day didn’t start how I like them to.

My heart was turned the wrong way.

So, for most of the morning I couldn’t really see you.

My guilt blocked you from my sight

 

Now I am sitting here

with this pain in my stomach

slouched and sad

missing the joy that overflows

What do I tell myself? How do I shake the continual downcast part that steals the desire to try.

All I can do is say out loud: God I am here. Find me as I am all I want is to be yours. This moment is not greater than you. And as your Holy Spirit overcomes You have taken me as I am and you will continue to love every part of me. You use all things Lord; the good, the bad and the tremendously ugly. I love you. I pour out all that I am, I expose my whole heart to you. This is what is truth. I am loved by you more then I will ever fathom.

No more crying, no more pain. In that place will I know your love for me?

But even through pain and tears I will believe in your love for me.

I’m focused on the words I write not on your face and I need to make another sentence happen while your telling me to just quiet my mind. Stop.